Like the majority of black women in America, I waited on the most recent presidential election results with bated breath, hoping against hope that this country was progressive enough to choose a woman of color to lead it. Exhausted by nearly a decade of divisive,  hate-filled political rhetoric, I desperately wanted to turn the page on this disheartening chapter and finally feel like we were moving forward. 

I am a nonbinary trans man living in Washington, D.C. This August, I decided to change my legal name and gender marker to match the name and gender I live as. While I’d like to say that this is a warm-hearted end to a journey of self-discovery, the truth is a bit more pragmatic. Historically, I hadn’t felt the need to update my legal documents because I felt secure and comfortable using my chosen name and gender identity without matching legal identification. Ultimately, the main reason I decided to change my legal documents is because I want to keep myself safe.

I know what it is to feel
Your world turned on its axis
Up feels down
Words come at you garbled,
As if fighting their way through deep dark waters
Sound is muted
Light is dimmed
Your heart is numb
Your skin is on fire