Like the majority of black women in America, I waited on the most recent presidential election results with bated breath, hoping against hope that this country was progressive enough to choose a woman of color to lead it. Exhausted by nearly a decade of divisive, hate-filled political rhetoric, I desperately wanted to turn the page on this disheartening chapter and finally feel like we were moving forward.

Unfortunately, like so many others, I was in for a rude awakening that left me reeling for days. I found myself retreating inward, seeking company from kindred spirits who were also hurting, choosing to spend time with those who felt safer for BIPOC like me.

“I have always believed that joy, abundance, and love are our universal birthright.”

I have always believed that joy, abundance, and love are our universal birthright. But ever since the election, I’ve been asking myself: How will I survive the next four years with my soul and spirit intact?

I have found much of my inspiration simply by watching my two-and-a-half year old daughter live her big little life. Reflecting on what this wise little soul has been reminding me about the many ways we can find more joy, I decided to share some of them, in the hope that they might inspire you as well.

1. Make more eye contact.

If I’m distracted or not paying enough attention, my daughter will start talking or singing more and more loudly until she drowns out whatever else I am focused on and I reorient towards her. There is nothing like hearing The Wheels on the Bus at full toddler volume to cut through the noise in your brain!

When I turn to her and give her my full attention, I’m usually greeted by a big smile and endearing, love-filled eye contact. The warmth that spreads through me in those moments reminds me of the life-giving power of authentic human connection.

We cannot begin to hope to heal our world if we cannot see the humanity in one another. Truly seeing—and being seen—helps us internalize that our destinies are interconnected, and it helps us fight for one another instead of against one another.

2. Don’t sweat the small stuff for too long.

My daughter has a tendency to throw things when she’s feeling really frustrated or doesn’t get her way. It’s behavior that is mystifying to her dad and me because we generally don’t exhibit angry outbursts. After concluding that it’s just “one of those toddler things” (maybe picked up from watching daycare meltdowns?), I try in those moments to take a few deep breaths so I can respond with calm, firm authority rather than anger.

Even while screaming, she’ll still follow me around the house until she can make her way into my arms for a soothing cuddle. I reassure her she’ll be ok, even if she can’t watch Elmo right this moment! Eventually, the bawling slows to hiccups, she wraps her little arms tightly around my neck, and often plants a sweet kiss on the cheek. Then, smiling a big smile, she bounces off in search of a new adventure. The mini crisis is over almost as swiftly as it began.

At first, the whiplash of these events was hard to manage, but lately, they’ve been inspiring me to move through any tough feelings more quickly. They remind me to err on the side of grace and forgiveness—and to let things go.

3. Pay attention to tiny daily delights.

My daughter grew up taking the bus with me frequently, and as a result, she fell in love with them. Her father then got into the habit of taking her for a walk in the evening, down to the end of our street, just to see and wave at the buses going by. The enthusiasm with which she greets each bus is adorable, and a reminder that awe-inspiring things are around us every day, if only we open our eyes and really look.

She also got me thinking about the level of human genius it took to ever conceive of a bus in the first place, and I often find myself saying: “You’re absolutely right baby, it IS amazing!” And meaning it! These small daily delights help me feel more present, more alive, and connected to all we have that is still worth fighting for.

4. Be generous with praise and compliments.

Whenever I’m unloading the dishwasher or putting on my shoes, my daughter often rushes over at full speed to “help” (whether I need it or not) because she loves being useful—and being told that she’s helpful. If I don’t immediately thank her, she’ll often proudly point it out herself: “I helping Mommy!” And when I do thank her, the joy and pride on her face melt my heart.

She also enjoys receiving compliments, and lately, she’s been turning things around and complimenting me: “Mommy’s hair is so pretty.” While I have worked hard not to need as much external validation as I once did, I must admit—getting complimented by my toddler feels very good! It gives me an extra pep in my step and reminds me that we don’t often hear about the things we’re doing well. It costs us nothing to be kind to one another, and I have found that positive feedback can make a big difference in motivating someone to do well.

5. Be intentional about having more fun.

My phone buzzes several times a day with updates about what my daughter is up to at daycare. I often chuckle when I see her in yet another costume because I know how much she loves playing dress up. She’ll repurpose almost anything into a necklace, scarf, or robe-like-garment. She frequently brings something to me, asking for help putting it on, and the wide smile that engulfs her little face when her teddy bear is finally, successfully dangling from her neck is nothing short of contagious. She then toddles off to dig into her box of toys for the next activity, and I’m left shaking my head in wonder.

“The intentional cultivation of joy feels like the opposite of much of what we are seeing in the world around us—making it feel countercultural, revolutionary, and oh-so-good. ”

A dear friend once taught me to think of fun as a spiritual practice, and ever since, “having more fun” has been my singular and constant New Year’s resolution. The intentional cultivation of joy feels like the opposite of much of what we are seeing in the world around us—making it feel countercultural, revolutionary, and oh-so-good. The next time you have an opportunity to put on a silly hat or roll around in the grass on a warm summer’s afternoon, try it. See how it transforms your day.

Choosing joy is an act of resilience.

For me, striving to live from a place of abundance and joy is how I honor the profound gift of being alive.

And while the world around me often feels as if it is on fire—and seeking joy sometimes feels like a betrayal of the suffering ever present on this planet—I know that I cannot cultivate resilience or find the strength and courage to fight the good fight without tending to my soul.

So in these troubling times, I will continue to look for wisdom in unlikely places and never, ever stop striving to choose joy. I invite you—or rather challenge you—to do the same.