by Ari Pak, he/they
I am a nonbinary trans man living in Washington, D.C. This August, I decided to change my legal name and gender marker to match the name and gender I live as. While I’d like to say that this is a warm-hearted end to a journey of self-discovery, the truth is a bit more pragmatic. Historically, I hadn’t felt the need to update my legal documents because I felt secure and comfortable using my chosen name and gender identity without matching legal identification. Ultimately, the main reason I decided to change my legal documents is because I want to keep myself safe. In the current political climate, I have become increasingly afraid of the potential danger others may pose to me if they see a man in front of them but realize I am transgender when looking at my ID.
Updating my documentation will help me feel safer in the world. Whether passing through an airport TSA checkpoint, being called at a doctors office, or giving my ID for a new job, I don’t want to worry that someone might act out of hate toward me. As I prepare for an upcoming international trip, I wonder if I might be turned away at customs for not having a physical appearance that matches my current passport gender marker; regardless of whether that’s an actual matter of national security or simply due to any potential prejudicial beliefs of the customs officer. I also worry about what might happen if I were pulled over and subject to the whim of an officer who is uneducated about transgender people, or worse, one who hated us because of the stories he's heard in the news. Updating my identification documents helps mitigate that risk by aligning my documentation with the gender that I am perceived to be in public.
Over the past 10 years, anti-trans politicians and public figures have depicted transgender identity as a “woke mind sickness” and transgender people as a danger to society. They’ve stoked fears about people using transgender identity to violate women in restrooms, fought against schools’ gender inclusion policies that allow young people to be treated with respect and use their chosen name or pronouns, restricted access to gender-affirming healthcare for adults, and excluded trans youth from recreational activities and affirming care. Anti-trans gender policing even showed up in the 2024 Summer Olympics with false claims that men were competing in women’s sporting divisions, amplified by public figures.. Currently, at least 26 states have enacted laws and policies banning gender-affirming care* for young people and adults. This year, 658 anti-trans bills were considered across the United States, according to the Trans Legislation Tracker.
“I feel conflicted about the desire to obscure my transgender identity because it is one that I love and am proud of. ”
I feel conflicted about the desire to obscure my transgender identity because it is one that I love and am proud of. While changing my gender marker and name feel true to me, the hostile political climate around trans identity is pushing me to make this decision. It is a sobering realization that the hard-fought safety and security of queer and trans people are under immediate threat. We need everyone to counter the harmful narratives and legislation eroding the safety and rights of our trans and gender non-conforming community members. I invite you to check out the proposed legislation in your state at translegislation.com and take action. Submit comments to your state legislature. Identify your local representatives on www.usa.gov/elected-officials and share your opinions on the proposed legislation and needs to protect trans rights. Speak to your neighbor or family member about what’s going on. Everyone has a different role to play.
* “Gender affirming health care is defined by the World Health Organization as “any single or combination of a number of social, psychological, behavioral or medical (including hormonal treatment or surgery) interventions designed to support and affirm an individual’s gender identity.” (aamc.org)